ONE WORD
Here we are again. The beginning of a new year. That line in the sand where we decide that this year it will be different. With every new year, I have made some kind of resolution, normally in the “lose weight” family, that doesn’t go to plan. You know the drill. Lose 20 pounds. Eat healthier to lose that holiday weight. Fit back into your favorite jeans. You know the jeans. The ones you loved to wear before having kids and your body changed FOREVER.
I have a real pattern. For a week or two, I’d meticulously catalog every bite of food that goes into my mouth and feel worse and worse with each and every “failure” until I finally give up. I’d spend the rest of the year feeling poorly about my appearance and my inability to stick to a (strict) diet plan and then start all over again the next new year. While it is good to be predictable sometimes, this could not be more cliche.
I don’t want to do that anymore. It is impractical and self-defeating, which is silly. The whole point of a New Year’s Resolution is to improve your life, right? Does that seem “improved” to ANYONE?! No.
So I’m trying something new this year.
A few weeks ago I was talking with my sisters. I asked, “do you guys do New Year’s resolutions?”. My younger sister said “yes”. She went on to explain that she tries to keep it to one word and that, while it applies to several areas of her life, it is one aspect of herself that she can focus on. This year she is going to focus on “Patience”.
I really like that idea.
Like, really, really, like it.
So I’m blatantly ripping it off.
Over the last several years my body has been getting weaker. I was athletic in high school. I swam competitively and with that, we had up to 3 hours of training per day. One hour of weights and two hours of swimming. In the offseason, I would run to keep in shape. In college, while I didn’t weight train nearly as much, I walked, ran, biked, and swam to keep in shape. I wasn’t married. I didn’t have kids. It worked for me.
Until it didn’t.
Twenty-plus years, two kids, a few knee and feet issues later, I am not in great shape. Add menopause to the mix, and my body seems completely foreign to me. I used to know how to “work the system”, but apparently that system has been replaced with an older, outdated model and I don’t have the instruction manual. While I only weigh five pounds more than I did a year ago, things are NOT the same. Not even close! My waist is bigger, my legs look smaller and the muscle tone I did have seems to have vanished.
In addition, with 2020 being, well, 2020, I have been working from home while our kids are remote learning and my husband works full-time outside the home. We have been incredibly lucky to continue earning a living during the pandemic, but it has taken a toll. I am home with the kids all day on my own while working 50-60 hours a week.
I’m worn in every sense of the word. I feel weak. Not just physically, but mentally and emotionally.
So for 2021, my One Word New Year’s Resolution is “Strength”.
This will have to be done in baby steps because I want to make lasting changes. My body has forever changed with menopause, so I need to learn the new system and live by new rules. This will take time. A good place to start is with the physical, not because I want to lose weight, but because when I feel strong physically, I feel better emotionally. Maybe that is because things are more aligned, maybe it is because I take some time for myself, or maybe it’s the post-workout high. Doesn’t matter.
The idea is not to look at the scale but to pay attention to my body and how it feels and build on that. I will never be the person I was in my late teens and twenties (nor would I want to be) but I know I can feel better overall.
So we're off!
Did you make a New Year’s Resolution? If so, what is it? How is going so far?
Until next time.
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