HELLO
Middle Aged Woman
HELLO
My name is Stephanie. Among other things, I am a wife, a mother, a dog lover, and a marketer. I love to cook, bake, swim, go for long walks (especially in freshly fallen snow), and I enjoy writing. I am 48 years old and, as the name of this blog states, I have gray hair. Not 100% gray, just a lot more gray than I expected when I started to let my hair color grow out 18 months ago. As much as I don’t feel it on the inside, I am looking my age.
I am, in fact, middle-aged.
That’s a weird sentence to me because I laughed at a fart joke just yesterday. Also, I made the fart joke. That’s right. I laughed at my own fart joke. I’m slightly ashamed, but obviously not ashamed enough.
On the flip side, I also found myself complaining about our health insurance and my 401k the other day - a very middle-aged thing to do.
While there is so much more to me than my gray hair, that is what people see first and foremost. How could they not? It’s right there, in their faces. But it is not who I am. However, my gray hair combined with my overall appearance could say some things about me that are not so flattering, such as:
I’m Lazy. When it comes to my appearance, I have never worried too much about:
My hair: Growing up, I had dark, thick hair. I received compliments with little effort. In my mid-30’s, I started coloring my hair every 4-6 weeks and I was good to go. Still received compliments. In my mid 40’s I stopped coloring my hair and it has started thinning out which = not so many compliments these days.
My skin: Until about 10 years ago, I used only Dial bar soap as my beauty routine. That has, obviously, changed due to my age, but I keep it pretty simple. That being said, my wrinkles are noticeable and my neck looks like a hound dog’s neck.
My clothing: I am more about comfort than style. Jeans, T-Shirts, sweatshirts, and tennis shoes. I do have some nice clothing for work and special occasions, but for the most part, you will see me around town looking like I rolled out of bed and threw on the first thing I found. Because I did.
As a younger person, I was in good shape. I was strong. I didn’t feel the need to do much more than the absolute bare minimum. “Was” and “Didn’t”. Past tense.
2. I’m Tired. Oh my gosh. Can I get an AMEN on this one?! Seriously. So tired. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. EXHAUSTED. And it 100% shows. I’m certain, although I’m afraid to ask outright, that people see it on my face, in my posture, and in my overall outlook on life.
3. I’m Over It. After a year that has chewed up and spit out darn near everybody, my gray hair, lack of fashion sense, exhaustion, and a pretty solid RBF has left me taking a good hard look in the mirror. I’m not so worried about what others think, but after some self-reflection, I’m a little concerned with what I think of myself. The phrase “letting yourself go” comes to mind.
So all of that is to say I’m looking for some change. I don’t want to color my hair because there is wisdom, grace, and confidence that comes with this gray hair. I think it is beautiful. My mom and grandma have/had this hair and they are/were beautiful women. I think middle-aged overall is beautiful. But I sincerely think I could be doing this whole middle-aged thing better. A lot better.
If you have made it this far into this post, my guess is that you are relating to some piece of this in some way. I think a lot of women going through middle age have a lot of questions, concerns, and frustrations that I personally am not always quite sure how to deal with. While I don’t have the answers I do know that we are not alone in this. I want this blog to be a place where we can have a conversation about this stage of our lives and figure out the best way to move through it as the best versions of ourselves.
Until next time.
#grayhairblogging