WORK/LIFE BALANCE
How do you balance work and life when you work from home?
I’ve always struggled with work/life balance. I take my work very seriously and tend to give everything I have to it. Going in early. Bringing my computer home with me to get a few more things done before going to bed. Answering emails at all hours. Having kids slowed me down for a minute, but eventually, I was right back at it.
When I was 33 weeks pregnant with my youngest I was working 60+ hours a week in an incredibly stressful work environment. I was up at 4 am every morning and in the office before 5 am. I kept getting handed new projects and my workload was already too much. I started to go into preterm labor. After a visit to the hospital, I was put on bed rest until I delivered. Our youngest delivered at 38 weeks and was (and is) perfect. But once I got back to work, I finally got a job in the organization I really wanted to work in and I was right back to my old ways in no time.
About seven years ago, I had a major wake-up call (in the form of a medical issue) that made me rethink all of this. At this point in my career, I was working 60-70 hours a week during one particularly grueling stretch and I was traveling about 50% of the time. There was no time for hobbies or exercise, and my eating habits were terrible. It was taking a very real toll on my mental and physical well-being. After all the doctors’ appointments and tests, my primary care physician recommended, in addition to other things, that I reevaluate my work/life balance and start to eliminate some stress from my life. She explained that what was going on with me could be related to stress and it could continue to break me down if I didn’t take some positive steps. She said “Exercise. Eat better. Take time for yourself. Be with your family. That’s what’s important, right?”
She was right. I was embarrassed and ashamed that it took a medical issue to get me to consider that more heavily.
I sat down with my (then) manager that week and had a great talk about the toll my workload was having on me and my family. I will say my manager was amazing. She listened and worked with me to figure out a manageable path forward. I wish everybody that same experience. While I felt weak for admitting I needed the change, she didn’t make me feel bad or less than for stating what I needed. She understood and things got better.
So, lesson FINALLY learned, right?
For awhile.
Then we had a global pandemic. I was already working from home 2-3 days a week, but, like so many of us, I was sent home to work full-time last March. I’m grateful that I have been employed full time throughout the last year, but I have again found myself struggling with work/life balance. This time, for different reasons:
My kids are older, so I have more time to spare. I am working on giving myself some time but the number of hours I work per week has increased.
It’s really easy to just roll out of bed, go to my office (one flight of stairs away from our bedroom), and get to work. In my jammies. My internal clock gets me up before 5 am most days. Sometimes I can go back to sleep. Most of the time I can’t and I just get up, make coffee, and get to work.
Honestly. What else is there to do? My family got pretty tired of board games and TV early. We tried a few creative ways to pass the time that all flopped. I was bored. So I worked.
None of this is mandated by my current boss - he is in favor of work/life balance, but I think I was just trying to figure out my way through the situation in front of me and have fallen into old habits. So at the end of last year, I started to try to change that.
Here are a few ways I have tried to find balance:
Get Dressed: Mostly, I just don’t work in my pajamas. While I still get up super early, I don’t start to work until I get dressed. And when I say “get dressed” I just mean jeans and a T-shirt - and I brush my hair. Sometimes. If I have an important meeting, I’ll dress nicely and even put on a little make-up. By doing this, I head into my office a little later than I normally would.
Show Your Face: To add some pressure to the “no pajamas” rule, I turn my camera on during meetings for work now. I’m hoping more people will do the same (because I miss their faces) AND it forces me to look presentable.
Dinner: I stop working by 5 pm if I am making dinner and 6 pm if my husband is making dinner. Either way, this breaks me away from my work and forces me to do something else.
Take A Break: I take three breaks during the day; mid-morning (15 minutes), lunch (30 minutes), and mid-afternoon (15 minutes). I get up and take the dog for a walk, do some stretches, grab a glass of water, make a phone call, eat my lunch, or whatever. I just don’t work.
Take a Class: I mentioned in my “One Word” post that my New Years Resolution was “Strength”. So, five days a week, I spend 40 minutes strength training on my own. I also periodically sign up for a virtual group class (through Just Move Fitness) that starts at either 5 pm or 5:15 pm two days a week. It forces me to shut down work and get moving. Also, I just feel better when I do it.
Rediscover/Find a Hobbie: Find something fun to do that refocusses your energy on something that brings you joy. That is, honestly, why I started writing this blog. I really enjoy writing and have had a lot of fun setting up this website.
Put Your Phone Down: It’s hard, right? They are designed to keep you interacting but, if you are like me, you have one phone for personal and work. Just now, for example, I looked at my phone and there are 11 text messages. Now, nine of them are from my family - my father-in-law made some yummy-looking pasta and it is a hit! The other two were from work. This is not uncommon, and I feel compelled to respond. And I did.
Not Balanced.
Turn Off Your Phone Notifications: Try a little JOMO (Joy Of Missing Out) and less FOMO. Turn off your phone notifications at a designated time every night. Swear this has been a game-changer for me. With my phone not dinging or flashing at me, I don’t pay as much attention to it.
Do Something Nice: Take the focus off of work and being copped up by doing something nice for someone. We have several couples we have dinner with once a month and we have been missing them all since quarantine started. So occasionally we will bring them goodies - usually booze and baked goods. My husband makes these incredible Peanut Butter Cookies that are a big hit with this group and who doesn’t like booze? Our friends are happy and we feel good.
I am still far from perfect at this and I think I will always struggle a little with it (I am averaging 10 hours of work a day the last two weeks), but I can keep taking these baby steps to manage this all a little bit better.
So what are some tips and tricks that you have used to get your work/life in balance? Share below.
Until next time.
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